Who Is Your Sphere of Influence & How Does it Affect You

I can confidently say that you have heard the “you are who you hang out with” statement over the years. I know that growing up it was something that I heard often about friends and choices that were made with them. It usually came after bad decisions for me and during discipline that resulted from those decisions.

Who you surround yourself with will influence you and all outcomes in life, no matter how large or small the results may be. 

The concept of the herd or mob mentality is an extreme example of this. Think of protests that turn violent, religious beliefs that become extreme creating unhealthy or unhinged indoctrinations, and social boundaries that lead to racist and cultural divides. 

Often after these groups are disbanded or separated from the cause, individuals will open up and admit that they weren’t completely convinced of the “right” or “wrong” being displayed or lived out, but rather they were trying to be involved and fit in with the surrounding group for acceptance. The power of the “I want to be a part of something” is a strong philosophy displayed more than you realize or may be willing to admit. 

Most always the extremeness of the “fitting in” mentality doesn’t represent cultish tendencies or results, but it can have the same major impact on your life. 

Hang out with negative people, you will become a negative thinker. If you surround yourself with successful business minded individuals, the likelihood is that you will begin to pick up on their habits and tendencies as well. It seems like a simple concept, but it is a difficult practice in action. 

One of my favorite movies when I was in college years ago was “How High” with Method Man and Redman. If you know me well, there should be no surprises here. The movie is absolutely hilarious and is based on Ivory—played by Chuck Davis—passing away unexpectedly and Silas—played by Method Man—using his ashes in a cannabis plant to honor his memory. 

Ivory returns as a ghost and shows himself to Silas and Jamal—played by Redman—when they are preparing to take college entrance exams. Ivory explains that using his ashes in the plant has created a link to the spiritual world in which Ivory has met everyone in history. Because of that connection he helps them ace the college entrance exam landing them in Harvard. 

Just before they begin to light up the Ivory strain Jamal says “I figure if I study high, take the test high, get high scores!” This is when Ivory shows himself and reveals the newfound ghost assistance that lands them those high scores. 

While that would seem like a borderline stupid philosophy, that is exactly what you are telling yourself when you are surrounded with mediocrity or failure. Unfortunately we don’t have a magic blunt to smoke that will bring about epiphanies for success with ghost’s of former friends who meet Benjamin Franklin in the afterlife. 

Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals seems to make sense, but that leads to atrophy of thought and will lack growth. Surrounding yourself with others that are from different walks of life, have different philosophies on said life, and come from different backgrounds is a great way to diversify thought and action. 

We need to bring curiosity to every occasion. Seek out an understanding of why others feel the way they do and bring humility with that curiosity. We will all change our minds through time, but to see proper change and create the best sphere of influence around you, conversations with discovery must have both. 

That is the only way we learn from each other as well as bring the best effect of change and growth to the group you surround yourself with. 

Additionally, you must be willing to study what interests you and bring discernment with application to your sphere of influence. You have to provide the light you want to project, not constantly seek for the light to brighten you from the outside in. Making sure that you bring a positive influence and solid educated voice to conversations is critical. Listening to those around you and engaging with humility is the way to hit the finish line with a win. 

So to answer the looming question, your sphere of influence is clearly defined above as the people you live, work and play with. Working with may not always be a choice, but it is still a vital part of who you become and the ideas you represent. 

Who you spend your free time with is the most important as it will be the group that helps define your daily characteristics and habits. Your habits will have a compounding effect on who you become and perceive yourself to be. 

There will be times in life where you modify and change that sphere of influence. There will also be times where you must completely remove yourself from a group for the betterment of yourself and those in it.

It is easy to sit in the normal, accept your current status or standing in life and pass it off as “it is what it is.” Truthfully that saying will root you in failure and lead to the worst possible outcome. 

Embrace the suck of change and modify your daily achievements as needed, finding growth along the way. The people that you surround yourself with should acknowledge the growth and want to be a part of it. If not, move yourself to another group. 

The easiest day will always be yesterday. Finding your best impact on the sphere of influence around you will affect you and those you touch more positively than you may ever recognize. Champion curiosity with humility and be your best self. 

Be the change you want to see–the rest will fall into place.