Project Strength, Provide Peace

At first, the thought of projecting strength will typically make us think of aggressive or borderline careless actions that prove value and a “don’t tread on me” mentality. The bouncer at the bar archetype, or the warfighter sitting on the line waiting to present evil with evil to champion the good. 

I've been both. Along the way in life I have also sought to prove strength with very little care or acknowledgement for peace. 

It’s the whole “fuck around and find out” concept that has become popular as of late. Quite honestly, most often instead of aggression being and projecting strength, I would venture to say it leads towards a weakened stance that doesn’t create or provide peace. 

“Peace through strength” is a phrase that is repeated by government leadership when speaking of war avoidance and to make the argument for more arms and stores build-up for weaponry to create a safe stance. Made famous by Ronald Reagan in the 80’s, the phrase has been around for quite some time. but what exactly does that phrase mean when analyzed deeper? 

As well, how can that somewhat common phrase make sense beyond just wartime strategy and be applied to your daily life as you look for ways to ensure your position in community, your relationship, that your career is secured in the way you would like, presenting the results that you seek? 

Projecting strength to provide peace is often a tougher balancing act than Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall. If indeed you fall off, no amount of king’s men or horses will get you back together. 

In a recent discussion with a good friend of mine we spoke to this tough role in life, in manhood and how stabilizing the expected role we all fit in a community is a hard dichotomy to figure out, if ever at all. 

How can I show strength but also show a caring heart? How can I be a great leader, but also manage those expectations and limitations set forth? 

The first step is to take a deep diving effort to open communication and discussion throughout every scenario you face. In doing so you must always present fact-based truth, openness and honesty as well as a dose of humility. Understanding that our answers to questions aren’t always correct or could differ from others opinions is a cornerstone of this communication. 

The second step is controlling reaction while maintaining a firm position of standing. Be accepting of others, their ideas and embrace their differences and uniqueness. Show strength not through aggression or power, but through understanding and discernment. 

One of the truest statements you will hear is “start yelling and I shut down.” That is virtually everyone. 

In my younger years going through sports to the collegiate level and then the Navy it became second nature to pop-off and show strength through the power my personality possessed and could flex. Truthfully, often that “strength” was showing my true weakness—my inability to cope and listen. My fear of change and adaptation. The fear of not being correct when being wrong is so often layered with failure. 

The minute I began to understand that failure was growth, that being wrong meant I could learn more and happily from others where maybe my assumed facts or knowledge had holes—I finally began to truly win. 

As a leader my best results have come when people felt heard—when they felt at peace to discuss things openly and honestly at all times. Despite my command presence in meetings or in the market, when my people needed me they could rely on me. Always. 

That goes for anyone in my circle and those I care for. That includes and leads with bringing a peaceful, caring and defined demeanor to discussions. It is solidified by listening to everyone around you by providing them a voice and a listening, caring heart to help guide those discussions toward growth. 

We all make mistakes. We all will show anger at times, but when we begin to sit back, analyze and open our hearts for discussion the need for control dissolves and the true base for providing the light we should all seek to show will be evident. 

No good leader, coach, manager or beyond can do things alone or with their thoughts and plans alone. We all need others to provide support and to foster a community and a world we want to see that can exert strength while providing peace to the people and the things we touch. 

Our world is surrounded by hate, by violence and constant threats of negativity or outright evil. Understanding how you can effect some change by simply listening and learning from others is a key to helping provide the growth your sphere of influence needs. 

I would encourage you to begin the next discussion you have with a subordinate, a boss, with a friend or significant other with an open heart for dialogue. One that will be willing to learn and engage in a healthy way to ensure your best impact is being made. 

We all can provide a stance of aggression, but the true strength will come from the peace we provide with the right approach for change resulting in the growth we all need.